How often do you go after the same type of guy or girl only somehow they look a little different on the outside than the last one? Everyone is seeking love but sometimes it comes packaged in all the wrong attire to really make a relationship last. We can find ourselves in self-sabotaging patterns and wonder where Mr. Right is that will treat me with the love and respect that I deserve.

Valentines Day always brings out those longings even more. We are wanting to find that perfect Valentine that is romantic, compassionate, tender, and loving, but also manly all wrapped together. But unfortunately, just the opposite shows up and we wonder what is wrong with me that I keep attracting men or women without these great qualities.

I believe the root of why we keep attracting the wrong ones is that we have underlying subconscious patterns that go against our finding a loving relationship. Some of us don’t believe we are lovable, attractive, or smart enough to attract the man or woman of our dreams. Instead we settle for crumbs and less than the best just to have a warm body next to us.

Here are points for learning to identify the saboteurs:

• Identify repetitive characteristics that keep showing up in your relationships including in your work environment.
• How much am I loving myself so that I can attract someone who would love me back?
• Set boundaries with people that don’t treat you well.
• Identify the underlying beliefs about yourself that aren’t affirming.
• Find hobbies or work that you are passionate about.
• Get rid of energy drainers that eat up your time and space.
• Become the kind of person a man or woman you are looking for would be interested in.

When I was single I finally made the decision that I wanted to attract a loving partner who could truly value me. So I did everything I knew to give myself as much self-love I could and eventually the right one showed up who truly loves me.

Make this Valentines Day one of loving yourself so you can begin attracting a relationship that will last!