It’s starting to feel like fall, and after having such a hot summer, I am welcoming the cooler mornings and evenings!

As we think about approaching the holiday season, it might be a good time to look at what is creating times of stress and anxiety in our life. My husband recently asked me what is the difference between good and bad stress? I had to think about that for a while.

I am aware that some people I have encountered in my practice get into addictive adrenalin practices, which eventually burn out the adrenals as a byproduct of so much adrenalin running through their system. They put tremendous pressure on themselves to meet deadlines, overwork, stay in unhealthy relationships. They keep themselves so busy that they avoid what they are really feeling inside. This type of stress keeps us in a constant stress mode that is difficult to repair with just a good night’s sleep. Eventually, they may have symptoms of not sleeping well, hormonal imbalances, weakened immune system, and constant fatigue.

Not all stress is bad. Hans Selye wrote a book, “Stress Without Distress” and spoke about how to use stress as a positive force to achieve a rewarding lifestyle. He claims that any kind of normal behavior such as playing chess or any passionate activity will produce stress without causing negative effects. Getting ready for a wedding, being a part of a winning team, getting a long awaited interview, or getting pregnant and anticipating a child can all be positive stress. We need some stimulation from these types of activities or else your life would be dull and boring.

So how do we distinguish what is a good stress from a bad stress? I find that negative stress is rooted usually in a person trying to get self-esteem by pushing themselves beyond their limits. The constant pressure and fear-based messages they communicate send out increased cortisol levels to the body eventually leading to physical and emotional symptoms. Physically, be on the lookout for reoccurring head colds, migraines, excessive weight, loss of appetite, joint pain, back pain or shoulder pain. Mentally, most people who allow themselves to slip into chronic fatigue find themselves trapped in depression, anxiety, and anti-social behavior.

When circumstances unexpectedly change, we are suddenly having to process the event and come up with new perspectives on what is happening to us. The interpretations we make have a lot to do with how much impact it has on our body.
We do have control over how we perceive things. Victor Frankl wrote a book titled ” Man’s Search for Meaning,” where he shared how he was able to endure great odds in a Nazi concentration camp. He said that the one thing they couldn’t take away from him was his attitude.

The following are tips that will help you manage stress better:

• Look at addictive cycles in your life. Do you get into adrenaline rushes that impact how you feel? If so, learn to do things in more moderation and get to the root of addictive behavior. Many times performance-based identity keeps you propelled into constant activities.
• Find ways to create more balance in your life by exerting and replenishing energy reserves. Take mini breaks throughout the day every 90 minutes.
• Work with your thoughts and find meaning in the events that are impacting you emotionally.
• Discover new hobbies or passionate things to do that will create more positive good stress.
• Practice relaxation methods daily to help with stress.
• Learn to move through your feelings rather than stuffing them away.
• Practicing these tips can help you better handle whatever life presents your way. We don’t have control over the curve balls, but we can come up with better ways to deal with them.

Here’s to reducing stress so you live life with more ease and connection to your true identity!