I am struck with the amount of weeds that have been growing in my yard. It seems the task is endless and every week I have more. I asked myself why God created so many weeds.. as they seem so useless without any purpose except to give me more work to do! The answer I got was that they were created to remind me of the inner weeds in my life that crop up unexpectedly. These can be unresolved resentment or faulty beliefs we are hanging onto that affect our relationships where we may self-sabotage the things we hold dear to us. Facing them many times means digging out the roots, otherwise they keep growing back.
I am always struck with how these inner weeds can continually get in the way of having the kind of healthy relationships we desire. We may have never faced the way our Dad was emotionally unavailable for us and we found ourselves in a relationship with an partner who works too much. Or we might have drawn a partner to us that is not very affirming of us as it reflects those feelings of unworthiness we feel about ourselves. On the other hand, we might have attracted to us a partner that is showing lots of love and compassion, but we can’t seem to receive it due to feeling like we don’t deserve to be loved that way. In addition, hanging on to past resentments and not being able to forgive can really keep us unhappy.
Relationships reflect a lot of what we believe inside ourselves. If we have a healthy sense of self esteem and believe we are worthy of being loved, we may find a partner that is loving. When I was single I made an attempt to focus on loving myself so I could better love another and draw a loving partner to me. It worked well as I was able to attract a very loving man into my life.
Some of our typical relationship struggles are just about not being able to accept our differences. We somehow expect our partner to be just like us..or we may hold an image in our mind of how a partner should meet our needs. Many of these expectations are unrealistic as I haven’t found too many relationships that are with a partner that is just like them! Usually the old adage of opposites attract is what I see.
Developing relationship that work or “wear well” is so vital to your health and even success in life. When I see women not thriving in their work arena many times we can trace it back to their discontent with their relationship area of life. I have found recently that the cutting edge clearing tools I use can work toward getting to the root of these struggles. One tool I use is Splankna which is a Christian mind/body clearing method that allows you to clear out these beliefs, vows, and forgiveness issues. It’s so awesome to see the results in just a few sessions!
Tips for developing more healthy relationships:
*Do your exploration of your typical past relationship patterns.
*Examine what you haven’t let go of ie. old resentments and lack of forgiveness
*Clear out self-sabotaging beliefs.
*Find ways to practice loving yourself.
You can now view the Webinar that I did with a colleague Ric Taylor in May on how to deal with Relationship Conflict. I must say it was excellent information and well presented-http://youtu.be/5gf6QHDSW-c