It seems that everything in life is based on learning how to improve the next time when we don’t do things right the first time around. For a perfectionist like myself I typically would love to do things right without having to learn from my mistakes. However my experience in life has shown me that this is typically not what happens for me.  It seems that I have to learn first from the mistakes I make and then improve the next time around.

I started taking watercolor classes several years ago which has been very fulfilling and brought a much needed balance into my life. However, it’s not come without challenges. I remember the first time we used masking fluid I accidentally spilled the bottle over some of my clothing and purse. It was an absolute mess to clean up and I learned you tread carefully when handling that masking fluid!

The biggest lesson I’ve learned is to learn from my mistakes when trying to do new things. Each time I tend to improve the next time around.  It seems that everything in life has a learning curve. When you have botched up a painting, you need to pick yourself up and learn from it. If you don’t learn from it, it might continue to show up again.  Practicing a little self-compassion goes a long way toward ridding yourself of the negative self-talk that tends to control you when you fail at something. Learning to be self-compassionate with ourselves is not something that typically is easy to practice.  Our mind tends to be consumed with negative voices that leave us very discouraged and frustrated with ourselves.

I discovered someone online who has a research site where she helps people assess the level of self-compassion they have for themselves.  It is Dr. Kristen Neff at  http://self-compassion.org.  You can take the assessment and see the meditations and exercises she has on learning to be compassionate with yourself.  I believe they are extremely practical and helpful.

Many of you who have had children can think of how you would talk with your child. Do you give those same encouragements to yourself?  I have thought about that many times that the ways we talk or nurture a child doesn’t get translated to us.  We can be our worst critics. Begin to turn your negative statements into loving and compassionate ones.

I like the heart warming exercise that I put together on a CD which titled “Open our Heart to More Loving”. By allowing those positive feelings of love and appreciation to come in you can feel so soothed and ready for any battle of the mind. So when you are struggling with a particular thing that is troubling you, you can begin to open up your heart to giving yourself loving statements of kindness  and compassion.  Tell yourself, “This is a moment of suffering. Suffering is real.”  Respond by asking what do I need to give to myself that is loving. What do I need to hear right now?

It can be a gift you give compassion to yourself!