I hear quite frequently.. can I trust my decisions?, or how do I get the monkey mind quiet long enough to relax, and I don’t know how to listen to my inner guidance.  I have found this to be quite common and many times a byproduct of growing up in an unsafe environment. Sometimes the only way we knew to survive in a family environment that was stressful was to pull up in our head and try to think our way through life rather than feel what our heart is saying. We may find ourselves ruminating or analyzing over things too long.. or always basing our decisions on the logical approach.

What I think is important is to make friends with our feelings. Our feelings are barometers of what may be guiding us in our decisions. We may say that we may have learned to not trust our feelings because they are too unpredictable. We need to be logical.  What I would recommend is to listen to our feelings, but not make every decision from them. Use them as a barometer to evaluate both the head and the heart. Too much swaying in any direction may not be wise.

If there is one area I focus on with people is to allow themselves to feel. If they allow themselves to move through their feelings they will come out the other side feeling more connected  to what they want and peaceful within themselves. But if they wallow in their feelings and remain a victim to them, they never allow them to fully move through the body. The best example I give is little kids. When they have a big upset, they cry out their feelings they are off and running to the next event. Adults don’t do this very effectively.  We may harbor them and then later wonder why they came out in such a big explosion.

So if you are plagued with anxiety, anger outbursts, or some depressive feelings and stuck in moving forward with your  life, you may want to see what emotions you are hanging onto.  Are you a stuffer rather than just moving through them?

I have a handout that I like to offer people that shares how to do this:

First you need to identify what you have interpreted to believe about your circumstances. I call this the “story” you have made up since it usually isn’t the facts.

ex.  I seem to argue so much with my spouse therefore he doesn’t love me so I need to leave the marriage.

Second imagine yourself cutting through the story like there were scissors and allow yourself to feel the  hurt and frustration.  Learn to experience the growth in allowing yourselves to feel much like a wave. Eventually the wave comes back up and you may not feel so intensely upset. Usually a more peaceful state follows.

So this week practice feeling more and when you are faced with important decisions, you will probably start listen more to that internal guidance that is always there to direct you.