I went to the Breckenridge snow carving event last weekend. Boy was it cold! I had to really bundle up. It was quite interesting to see how all the international countries represented carved out their unique images in the snow. I have attached a blank block of snow which is what each representative starts with. It is interesting to see how their creative inspiration carves out an image that represents something they consider to be expressive of their country. Some of them required using my imagination a little. I thought it was a great analogy of transformational work. We all start with a blank slate in life, but through the years images are carved out in our soul. Many of these images are from memories that have deeply impact us. They may have left us with feelings of despair, emptiness, shame, and grief that continue to impact us today. When I looked at all of the snow carvings I could see the emotions represented through the eyes of the artist… some of them more beautiful than others, but all very expressive. What I would have loved to have seen was the artist actually carving out the images.

I know eventually, the snow will melt and all the carved images will be dissolved and fade away. Just like in transformational work, we may have to face those frozen memories in time that are literally stored in crevices of our body. It is then, that we are able to fully release the hold they have on us.

That brings to mind the Walt Disney animated movie Frozen. Once Elsa realized that she had hung onto things she allowed herself to “let it go” as the song went. How many times have we frozen feelings in time and not allowing them to be let go of?  We may hang onto them like a familiar shoe because we resist feeling the pain since it’s been comfortable like this for a long time.  It may be comfortable, but it may not wear well over time. It most likely may be creating some of the problems you are encountering.

You may have a boss who repeatedly calls you on the carpet and it leaves you feeling defeated. You may feel you continue to want to please him and keep striving and striving and stressing yourself out. The constant striving can lead to all kinds of stress-related problems that keep you in a continual state of influx. Or you may have a marital partner who works all of the time leaving you feeling like you are unimportant or abandoned. Our tendency is to make it about them, but that never allows us to heal from these trigger moments that are surfacing with these relationships.

If we go inside for guidance to show us what’s is ruling us we can begin to heal so it no longer rules us. I had a trigger moment recently with my husband who mentioned that I had spilled water in the bathroom that was making a puddle around the toilet.  I immediately threw myself into an emotional outburst over this. When I realized how out of proportion this reaction was based on the situation, I found myself weeping and releasing a lot of tears. I began to realize the belief that had ruled me for some time that was causing me to feel this way.  “I have to do things right” and when my husband made that statement, this belief raised its ugly head.  Now as I look back on it, I think that this has been causing an abundant of unnecessary pain with me. I am learning to be more self-compassionate with myself—that I will at times do things wrong, but there is always a loving God who will embrace me.  He’s not evaluating me based on rightness and wrongness, but I am fully accepted in His eyes.

• Think of a time when you felt highly triggered by someone which felt blown out of proportion. What were you feeling? Ask yourself, “When have if felt this feeling before from the past?” You might have a memory come up or an experience you can trace it back to. This will help you get to the rooted emotion and belief pattern it’s attached to.
• Own the feeling and try not to make it about the person changing their behavior
• Allow yourself to move into the feeling or pain associated with it. It will eventually dissipate as you move through it much like a wave in an ocean that is hitting a seashore.
• Be self-compassionate and think more loving thoughts to yourself. Think of how you would talk to a friend or child. Are you speaking that way with yourself?
• Let go of all the self-defeating thoughts that are magnified in your mind.
• Come up with a new empowering belief that is supportive of you.

I hope this will help you on your journey to a more balanced perspective to situations you encounter.